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The World from a Window (EP)

by A Flower in Disguise

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1.
Exiled 03:56
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A man exiled Planted seeds of resentment Would they sprout horns? Three leaves or four? Crawl on hands and knees Make you wish you never breathed Or cried, or tried to feed their needs Make you wish you never breathed Your neglect is an act of empathy Made a prison my hope, my home A prison of bones, my bones If you knew me when my bones were soft If knew me when I could hardly talk I don’t want to bleed for you to see The ridiculing sun exposes all shortcomings Ashamed I’m here, consumed by fear That they’ll hear, whispered wishes fell deaf on ears Don’t talk, it’s obvious I’m always sorry A man exiled Planted seeds of resentment Would they sprout horns? Three leaves or four? Crawl on hands and knees Make you wish you never breathed Or cried, or tried to feed their needs Make you wish you never breathed Your neglect is an act of empathy Made a prison my hope, my home A prison of bones, my bones If you knew me when my bones were soft If knew me when I could hardly talk I don’t want to bleed for you to see The ridiculing sun exposes all shortcomings Too smart for my own good I wasted all my time trying to make it last, leave impact Holding my own hand, no winning over
2.
Hiding Places 04:17
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Shaving black sheep Cutting off the weakest link Wreaking pulling rotten teeth I lived the past in prayer Freedom from true poverty Come from your hiding place Hovering with angels Amongst a field of daisies Abstaining from short-lived ecstasies Where your fingers ache emotion And your pulse races, dripping with anticipation Shaking for a sun that shines for all Locked in the burning sea Lair of my temples All the nightmares prepared me The falling balloons, empty rooms You fill me with a sensitive fear The harm in us It’s not just you, I deny me A burning blue eternity The aversion left my system soaking Blessed with the scars you leave I am worthy It’s not just you, I deny me A burning blue eternity Have your way Vultures waiting to prey I always wanted to runaway But tears aren’t the best souvenirs There are a million stairs to heaven But only 7 circles to hell I’m always running and hiding I throw myself with skill, killing myself I grow They don’t teach you how to find yourself Talking never helps Shaving black sheep Cutting off the weakest link Wreaking pulling rotten teeth I lived the past in prayer Freedom from true poverty Come from your hiding place Hovering with angels Amongst a field of daisies Abstaining from short-lived ecstasies Where your fingers ache emotion And your pulse races, dripping with anticipation Shaking for a sun that shines for all Locked in the burning sea If I’d lighten up, I’d fly Lost my voice trying not to cry Curses got my tongue I think the light at the end of the tunnel has died Circling the sky, glass eyes To be a mermaid with sutured thighs I cried an hour straight, there’s no coming back
3.
Succor 04:01
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Walking backwards, moving forwards I no longer like the look of it Quiet critic, stare a little longer just to ruin it Gridlocked my brain into a mulling hibernation More than a moment of epiphany Deeper than a dream I can’t defuse this anticipation I melt anxious, my body humming I can’t settle with no control My ears ring my pulse Exploding with the loss of hope Maimed the scheme of things Best to keep my eyes open Looking over my shoulder I reject all proposals Somethings coming I’m so engaged mastering the art of killing time With a sleepless mind Succor the medieval Keep me peacefully invisible, not alone Winged bridges in these isolation towers Moats and walls of emotion Succor the medieval My blood is fire, drying my heart No sleep just long blinks, restless Reciting what I can’t right Speaking in people It wasn’t quite discouraging But it wasn’t quite encouraging Challenging the stamina of ecstasy Numbers and the unequal I can’t hold a thought Nothing last, as nothing stays Shining nights I can’t defuse this anticipation I melt anxious, my body humming I can’t settle with no control My ears ring my pulse Exploding with the loss of hope Maimed the scheme of things Best to keep my eyes open Looking over my shoulder I reject all proposals Somethings coming I’m so engaged mastering the art of killing time With a sleepless mind Light runs down the sky Burning my eyes Biting the bullet another day Fuck Monday through Friday Every day is Cryday Light burn me up in your doorway
4.
Vehemence 02:54
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A hotbed, my will is red My tongue a diamonds deathbed Wilting holding dreams above my head Words break me down to melt Don’t ruin it, don’t ruin it Keep it safe, don’t talk about it The dragon said just a dream is legendary Facing off, a dawn is met, a burning sunset How to say nicely Can you live with the death encrypted in your hands? Pricked once by the bittersweet remorse I warm my blood, the rivers running wild in me The dark is my light, I grew with no sunshine Flames licking, curling I spit-shine my words, I deep throat swords Until it hurts until it hurts Etching the silence, sculpting ethereal sounds Threading liquid as the petals drop silk Parting the rolling clouds in my chest In work, I rest I want with a vehemence That nourished a flower of bitter fruit Hm, that permeates my bodies pores Polluted me with emotional reactions I fought myself tooth and nail Weighing the heart Weighing the light My will is red, biting diamonds On my deathbed, test me again Blinded by this passion which promised such beautiful suffering Adding charm, blind with pleasure I met mortality and now I know the treasures contents
5.
The Fool Never Dies 03:56
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You embody all I reject Disappointment I expect All the emotions I try to neglect, coaching myself I crack with emotion I cried tears of joy There’s nothing to miss Peeling the skin back, so you can see what I’m thinking So, you’ll believe me the optimist lives inside me The frustration what’s stranger? That I don’t remember altogether Or that we talk as strangers You leave before I ask Is it too soon to say goodbye? Churning me up inside Don’t comeback this time His jet brown eyes Rose emulsified The fool never dies The fool never dies The love in his tone The warmth gives me chills It’s hard to kill with kindness Drawing boundary lines to case your motive Reciting conversations, careful contemplations Thinking until debilitating The love in his tone The warmth gives me chills It’s hard to kill with kindness You had me at insufficient It hurts too much to want Given this emptiness Your kiss feels like scorn Hand so warm Never touched before Like its search and destroy You throw back the stars like a shot Why must you make my heart drop You’ll never know me Hunting vicious happiness, perhaps a train track I calculated every step, saving energy With hopeless despondency on my back I look back at the reflection to prove that I was more than polarizing madness And the sadness they perceive When I laugh it scares me Selfish desire, glossing my thoughts You’ll never know me I did have love you, briefly insufferable But I was never in love with you I discovered it Hunting but tempted by nothing Obsessed with the truth Running circuits through the walls Dredging archives How’d you break my heart? How’d we fall apart
6.
Cloud Nine 04:18
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A silent killer, hmm a quiet fight And those dark nights It’s no one else but you and I, finally Hush the butterflies Close your eyes Thought too soon, spoke too late, it’s too late Why do you deny me? But I believe in this My own happiness Lost myself mid-sentence You homicide while, I suicide Let the plunge skin me alive, to let it burn Waiting out my turn of the table My dreams are practical, actual They catch me if I fall from my highs Back to the clouds The last thing I saw The first thing I knew You make up for all the times I’ve cried And those dark nights It’s no one else but you and I, finally Hush the butterflies Close your eyes It’s not about being maintaining It’s about growing You give me meaning Thunder though its sunny Lighting in the snow Moon midday No place for kings Cloud 9, cloud 9 We are divine nothing else matters Shining from the inside out Cloud 9, cloud 9 Here in my mind, lets melt away The clouds relieve me The clouds roll with me Intoxicated with your purity My heart turned up everywhere The simplicity of me, myself and I The recipe to ecstasy I can’t call it irony when actions stare at me Masked death wishes, kisses In the form of desire, kisses Riddle imagination with holes Black and white, Othello Haphazard whimsy The last thing I saw The first thing I knew You make up for all the times I’ve cried And those dark nights It’s no one else but you and I, finally Hush the butterflies Close your eyes 
7.
Aphrodite Complex 03:32
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A creeping wallflower, a soft girl Offers air, a gesture Siren won’t you show yourself The sea has swallowed me Now honor me All day I question shy, shy I reserve aggression How I’m not surprised Some men run with a compliment I am not surprised I shrink farther Threatening hmm I could just disappear Into your projections And I don’t mind It makes it easier Dimming fixtures Come break the water, wear your skin Come feel the waves, give me dreams (finally) Come, come and get me, wear your skin (drown me) Apex an episode I deliver myself I hold my breath Dive reflex, dive reflex Curled my knees to my chest Centered to the core I help myself, dive reflex Groaning depths Counting my breaths The moans buried themselves Burrowed sharp sighs You can’t hear even if your quiet Limited to another’s mind I am the mother, quiet daughter The cause calls me miscreant Reading my fingerprints Enclosing myself in lattice I am the father The divine counterpart The marriage of broken parts Speak my religion, listen Evermore the martyr I wish better I apply my effort, to soften a cold bed No flinching, claim me I press myself inside, thick skin a life symptom The temporary high of the low, thick skin grew thin Can you see the blood within? Let the blood flow, like dropping petals in a row And I listen to the giving out
8.
To A Dream's Address 03:39
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My blind spot, I can’t fathom you as lie Hm, friendly fire A vision smothered memory, earthly Of what we could be But you need the scars to see But you need the scars to see All the possibilities Estranged somethings got me disregarding your superiority Like I got nothing to lose, I decay Fade away the longer I stay I close my eyes and I’m all you fear I’m so past your approval Make yourself useful I don’t need you to be beautiful Make yourself useful I disappear, Immortal beyond see Beyond we, stranger than fantasy, I disappear When I see your face I fall into grace, a misfit full of disgrace You are heaven-sent The word legend repents in your presence Origin ascent, in the mist you exist Its fate, just wait To a dreams address You fulfill me Selfish, but this shits selfless Cavalier you take my place Caving in on myself, animosity buoys Pit the walls against me Too many cases of mistaken identity Erased with understanding Crippling you replace me with trite Watered me down to shame Redefining me every second Since you have no patience You can’t die now The weakness is empowering I thrive now, please, stop flirting with me Too much passion not to suffer Born to die a lover Feed my fantasy, I yearn for you Thinking until I’m dizzy I trained my brain to never sour a dream too young To compromise for the ground In the sky among the clouds they hung The air dungeon

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released July 10, 2020

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A Flower in Disguise Ohio

Singer/songwriter/producer/visual artist and writer.
Making experimental music

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