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Letters to Delphi from the Grave & Garden of Eden

by A Flower in Disguise

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1.
Wake 03:14
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Reticent, no idle hands Melting for your charge Dispersing panic, the anxiety A love so tearful, a hope so frightening Doing my bidding, look what god did Self-fulfilling Like a Latin phrase, prophecies Beautifully pained a language so ancient Pouring light while epitomizing charnel woe The eyes popping like bubbles open On the back of my hands, a synchronized dance The eyes on the back of my head Petrified opalescent, transfiguring A Venus flytrap, my head peeling open Governed by the sixth sense The unending necropolis Spreading like an arachnid A synchronized dance Fashioned to life a resting place Like a Latin phrase, engraved, prophecies Beautifully pained a language so ancient It’s tight laced, organs rearranged Pouring light while epitomizing charnel woe The eyes popping like bubbles open On the back of my hands, a synchronized dance The eyes on the back of my head Petrified opalescent, transfiguring A Venus flytrap, my head peeling open I am chaos for life force An illusion for the sight  
2.
Cracked Cup 03:25
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Meditative isolation both godlike and deathlike Free of desire and without pleasure Clearing the scry, a devote contentment Mastery of pouring from a cracked cup, so placid Inviting legions of night within the soul Paranoia with the strength to destroy What can be found to explore, to bring joy Unspoken, implicit prayers skip to sink Tarnishing even the cleanest hands Omens leave blood in the water, like the egg cursing Free of mercy Thinly veiled humanity Emotions framing Letting the running come for me Letting nature take over me Likened my body to a bear a trap No femme fatale, it’s how I’m bound While others fly, burst and bloom I relinquish the struggle, into the fight Seizing the moment to come to life, like a home Meditative isolation both godlike and deathlike Free of desire and without pleasure Clearing the scry, a devote contentment Mastery of pouring from a cracked cup, so placid Inviting legions of night within the soul
3.
Spirit Level 03:19
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Palpitating, please a lifeline Trade me this void, hold my spirit level Love me totally, take me wholly To the Elysian fields as I wither slowly The blood and the tears demented me L’appel Du Vide Ceremonial, falling to your feet Is it absurdity holding me in a vacuum Withdrawn to myself, so fruitless Chasing my own tail Spirit level Chasing my own tail Looking for a language I’m churning at the thoughts I’m invoked in your words Looking for a language No hope glimmers longer the tear stains I refrain and refrain, camouflaged Disassociating, I don’t know, I don’t know myself Lost in your thoughts The unknown is flowing, and sediment cemented, to the sentiment I can’t close the door without knowing what’s off, off, off the path That’s how I’ve explored Listen, love me sure L’appel Du Vide Ceremonial, falling to your feet Is it absurdity holding me in a vacuum Withdrawn to myself, so fruitless Chasing my own tail Spirit level Chasing my own tail
4.
Visceral 03:04
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The sun clashing with the moon I shudder listening through the walls Are things bound to fall apart? They urge me to live But I’ve heard enough Loving hard I call it, quits before it begins This is not a game to win killing with kindness Give me life, not another causality Love don’t leave me empty I work to lift my spirit, but the wind dies out quickly And my heart has teeth An intention dead set on you I go for the jugular Receptive, armored for the ricochet It catches me as the cusp of night An intention dead set on you I go for the jugular Feeling you in my sleep, like your next to me Not timid, cautious No lover leaves me, no lover leaves alive No lover’s soul I haven’t tied Further than ideas It’s love or death This art is sex Give me life, not another causality Love don’t leave me empty It catches me as the cusp of night An intention dead set on you My heart has teeth
5.
Howling 03:25
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Passion on the verge of parting with my right mind Sanctify the suffering I live by Removing the ears that ring The stimulation of contention To silence the voices of doubt A field with howling winds Down to love affairs that never happened I’m better off, promises of the greatest They never stop It’s a question of how long I can withstand the inquisition Chimerical visions Orpheus to my own Eurydice One day a paradise island another a penal colony I made for sovereignty A mirage of emotion corroding me Existential, conceived now abysmal Fainter shadows of me A lifetime ago still stays with me Passion on the verge of parting with my right mind Sanctify the suffering I live by Removing the ears that ring The stimulation of contention To silence the voices of doubt A field with howling winds Even if no one listens, still receptive A god couldn’t change the way I’ve been living The stimulation of contention To silence the voices of doubt A field with howling winds Just listening
6.
Allegorical Necromancy 03:53
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From the ocean willed to the mountain tops The depth mirrors the altitude The difference is an illusory Different antics same ethics Meeting for air Traveling here to know enchantment’s face Experience a transformation like the lore tells Elysia without perishing, allegorical death Picking up where I left off, startled by new thoughts Perverse curiosity, now pure and godly The moon that turned the werewolf The bite that inducted them to vampirism The damsel that saved herself The first death by heartbreak Come nightfall we’ll see the light A glint all-encompassing the other side Defying and defining the limits of existence Lord and law know my heart Celestial shedding no human fluff Traveling here to know enchantment’s face Experience a transformation like the lore tells Elysia without perishing, allegorical death Picking up where I left off, startled by new thoughts Come nightfall we’ll see the light Perverse curiosity, now pure and godly The moon that turned the werewolf The bite that inducted them to vampirism The damsel that saved herself The first death by heartbreak Come nightfall we’ll see the light A glint all-encompassing the other side Defying and defining the limits of existence
7.
Draconic 04:48
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To know him is to love him And I fear I might And I fear I might Love him to death The detriment of myself Love him to the death of myself The saber defanged, the cat with no claws to sink The baby that won’t take the bottle Fighting all instincts An innocent criminal Blacker than the widow, softer than snow Pleased to be unknown by one so lovely Is all love lost on me? I can’t find pleasantries to dispose of this uncertainty Reminded of the deficiencies that imprison me A personality made from mechanisms He’s brighter than light A sorry life I lived before This glory my defeat Warned of the malign manifesting in my counterparts Is this a mirrored heart as I reflect a beast Tottering on the edge, disfiguring myself to pass I can’t tear him apart Deplored by his radiance The saber defanged, the cat with no claws to sink The baby that won’t take the bottle Fighting all instincts An innocent criminal Blacker than the widow, softer than snow Pleased to be unknown by one so lovely Far from sight Is all love lost on me? I can’t find pleasantries to dispose of this uncertainty Reminded of the deficiencies that imprison me A personality made from mechanisms He’s brighter than light A sorry life I lived before His glory my defeat To know him is to love him And I fear I might And I fear I might Love him to death The detriment of myself Love him to the death of myself
8.
Breastplate 02:49
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Set the table yet I ate not a single bite, no appetite My body devouring itself in rumination Closer to the self-circling the drain Mentally upturned all the stones with the leaves Not to fall in love easily, but deeply in nature Love mistaken for empathy, the difference between love and pity Emotional depth, now love versus sex Wounded now a sense of purpose I saw the pain reflected Breast of breast through bone to bone Set the table yet I ate not a single bite, no appetite My body devouring itself in rumination Closer to the self-circling the drain Mentally upturned all the stones with the leaves Every moment fleeting, not to fall in love easily But deeply in nature, falling into place I am no exception, so take me Choosing love, be it death or another form of doom Breast of breast through bone to bone Not to fall in love easily, but deeply  
9.
Locks & Black Lungs 03:22
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Forfending, to the door with the lock Like that will stop you Like that will keep you out, keep you outside my head The knob rattling, a start I hear the voices before the steps up and down the hall Lungs are black from the ways they tried to smoke me out All I see is harm, a threat to shelter Threatening the defense with mocking acknowledgement Blind to the cause of it, knowing isn’t power enough It’s a barricade now in my head, of guilt, of shame And I let the key deteriorate in me Keep me locked in days that go unnumbered I retired the possibility of a different reality quickly Lost hope of a better-chosen family It’s bleak reality, and I let the key deteriorate in me Don’t think to shudder Forfending, to the door with the lock My future home with many bolt locks Like that will stop you Like that will keep you out, keep you outside my head The knob rattling, a start I hear the voices before the steps up and down the hall Lungs are black from the ways they tried to smoke me out  
10.
Letters to Delphi fro the Grave & Garden of Eden 04:32
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First it was Marisol, Luna, then Rosemary Now Lilith, last Heather I made a mistake; it hurts to see you taken Tying fragments of soul to a seed in my winter The nights were too cold I know it’s too late for me I don’t mean to be emotional I just need something good to come from this, so I know I’m capable, I write to tell you, so you know I think of you always I gave you all I lacked A secure attachment Dying by my faults, like a start in the night Wishing, all you mean to me Cherished first it was Marisol, Luna, then Rosemary Now Lilith, last Heather I made a mistake, it hurts to see you taken Tying fragments of soul to a seed in my winter The nights were too cold I know it’s too late for me, I put you on my shoulders But I’m already six, now twelve, twenty-four doubled So many feet under, a connection of treasure Tying fragments of soul to a seed in my winter The nights were too cold, my body frost covered To keep you safe and unheard of Safe from shame, watered down to disgrace Everyday ridiculing I don’t mean to be emotional I just need something good to come from this, so I know I’m capable, I write to tell you, so you know I think of you always I gave you all I lacked A secure attachment Dying by my faults, like a start in the night Wishing, all you mean to me Cried no kings, this the culture of ruin I love you to no end Bricked up the trends, no relation I love you to no end

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released October 12, 2020

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A Flower in Disguise Ohio

Singer/songwriter/producer/visual artist and writer.
Making experimental music

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